This day

Hurting inside, I will finally come to the useless conclusion that he is not coming back. He's doing what he wants, because I was not what he wanted and no matter how much I tend to deny the fact that I was ever affected by his promises, they were what mattered most to me.
I'm falling apart with everyone mention of your name, the only thing keeping me sane is the revelation of tomorrow. You're not here to say what you always used to say. It was always easy for me to run from you because I knew what kind of person you had the potential to be...
just like everyone else.
You never changed into that person until now. I could always make you smile but your smile's turned to gray, you frown's been put in place. I've been praying that you make it through and that's when I lost you.
It is bliss between giving up and living makes me wonder if it was something I did, something I said.I don't want to fall to pieces, I just want to sit and stare at you. I don't want a conversation, I just want to cry in front of you. If you ask me how I'm doing, I'll say "Just fine." but the truth is, if you could read my mind, not a day goes by that I don't think of you.
Remember that you're not alone even though it hurts so much to think of this. So from my thoughts I will exclude the very thing that I hate more than everything; the way I'm powerful to dictate my own moves. When I go down I go down hard but I won't be made useless or idol with despair. I've been given light with faith and I will never be broken.
So I won't cry. There's nothing to do except to leave because he deserves the best...and that will be without me. I wasn't good enough when he finally knew me, so why now?...why do I let him...you in?
But please don't walk away. You see the questions in my mind, the hurt in my eyes and I know it scares you time and time again. Stop looking for answers, they are right in front of your eyes. Ask with care in your embrace, not with fear of what I'll say.
I hate the way you won't touch me anymore. How, if you support me, the scariest thing to you is that you will feel for me again. Don't worry. I won't let you jeopardize your relationships. I want you to be happy.
-0-0-0-
On the stairs she sits and waits, She's crying out but no one even cares. Holding in the hurt and pain, looking for love to come pull her from this place.
-0-0-0-
I'm not going to sit and stay in silence and I'm not going to walk away. You're quiet when I need a word of grace, and you quit before we even tried. You walked away when I needed you most but I can't be mad anymore. But I'm so tired of being here, tired of faking a smile when you're near. I'm trying so hard to tell myself that you're gone and even though you're right in front of me. I'm ,one again, all alone.