Free Writing-2

Write. Breathe. Think. Assume the best, the worst.
Fear. Cold sweat. Pray. Plaster your memory with good times. Accept the words he gave. Read...
Alarm. Surprise. A dead, cold silence. Anger. Despair. Humility. Confusion.

I am bewildered with a loss of my words. Every ounce of my heart strung soul cries out for victory against this childish nightmare of broken friendship. Every breathe comes with new aches and groans, every thought with new disappointments.

Why have you forsaken me to rot on a red canvas of blood, walking away in my time of need? Elbows, naught faces, dark circles under eyes have portrayed a feeling of lost love but even before, lost respect.

Your glance was so intense I felt as though you were undressing the layers of my heart with every piercing stare. your thoughts were so deep and unlike any I'd heard of and yet so wrong and filled with deception I turned my head away in disgust.

As I start a new story with a new day I wonder, at what thought of occupation could you have possibly assumed we would be together. What area of your mind ached for my returning gaze, smile, touch...

I didn't agree with your methods of humiliation nor your thoughts on disputing issues. Your callused hands fit so perfectly into mine and yet the bond was so distorted I could no feel your hand in mind. A soft brush of your lips in my hair felt something like fear for I realized you had some control over me, no matter how small.

A letter of adoration. A letter of pain. I told you we'd no longer sing in the rain, told you to step away from this shield I'd made that you had penetrated.

This unfair, unjust world we live in. You are alone as am I, our feelings displayed on parchment paper as black on white. Betrayal is what you have shown.

And yet, you place your head by hers and murmur words into her ear. You look satisfied and content beyond what words I can describe. Puzzled beyond exclamation and bleeding a hurt I had now allowed before, I will quietly focus my attention elsewhere to someone who has not so forcefully broken my trust. Simplicity was near before you appeared and is now lost forever.