I Stand At The Door

Why is it that sooner or later I come to a point where closeness becomes too hard to face: where the shadow of others around me becomes a place to hide instead of face, where smiles and friendly hugs become a time to shrink away from the crowd, where there's nothing left for me but to cower?Why am I so impersonal?

I stand at the door; I neither go too far in, nor stay too far out.The door is the most important door in the world.It is the door through which men walk when they find God.There is no use my going way far inside and staying there.When so many are still outside, and they as much as I, crave to know where the door ought to be.They creep along the wall like blind men, with outstretched, groping hands,Feeling for a door, knowing there must be a door, yet they never find it.So I Stand At The Door,The most tremendous thing in the world is for men to find that door…The door to God.The most important thing that any man can do is to take hold of one of those blind groping hands and put it on the latch… the latch that only clicks and opens to the man’s own touch!Men die outside the door, as starving beggars die,On cold nights in cruel cities in the dead of winter.They die for what is within their grasp,They live on the other side of it…live because they have not found it. Nothing else matters compared to helping them find it,opening it, and walking in to find Him.So I Stand At The Door. Go in great Saints, go all the way in.Go way down into the cavernous cellars and way up into the spacious attics.It is a vast, roomy house, this house where God is.Go into the deepest of hidden casements of withdrawal of silence, Of Sainthood.Some must inhabit those inner rooms.And know the depths and heights of God.And call outside to the rest of us how wonderful it is.Sometimes I take a deeper look in.Sometimes I venture a little farther,But my place seems closer to the opening.So I Stand At The Door.There is another reason why I stand there.Some people get part way in and become afraid.Lest God and the zeal of His house devour them.For God is so very great and asks all of us question.And these people feel claustrophobia and want to get out!“Let me out”, they cry!And the people way inside only terrify them the more.Somebody must be by the door to tell them that they are spoiled for the old life… they have seen too much.One taste of God and nothing but God will do anymore.Somebody must be watching for the frightened who seek to sneak out just where they came in to tell them how much better it is inside.The people too far in do not see how near these people are to leaving,Preoccupied by the wonder of it all.Somebody must watch for those who have entered the door but would like to run away. So for them too, So I Stand At The Door.I admire the people, who go way inside, but I wish they would not forget how it was before they got in... then they would be able to help the people who have not yet even found the door!Or the people who want to run away again from God.You can go in too deeply and stay in too long and forget the people outside the door. As for me, I shall take my old accustomed place.Near enough to God to hear Him and know that He is there,But not so far from men as not to hear them.And remember that they are there too.Where? Outside the door, Thousands of them… millions of them…But, more importantly for me, one of them, two of them, ten of them,Whose hand I intend to put on the latch.So I Stand At The Door To watch for those who seek it. I would rather be a doorkeeper.So I Stand At The Door listening to God's word.

-Author Unknown