About feeling too small.

There are snowstorms. There are hailstorms. There are rainstorms. And their are doubtstorms.

Every so often a doubtstorm rolls into my life, bringing with it a flurry of questions and a gale-force winds of fear. And, soon after it comes, a light shines through it.

Sometimes the storm comes after the evening news. Some nights I wonder why I watch it. Some nights it's just too much. From the steps of the Supreme Court to the steppes of South Africa, the news is usually gloomy...thirty minutes of bite-sized tragedies. A handsome man in a nice suit with a warm voice gives bad news. They call him the anchorman. Good title. One needs an anchor in today's tempestuous waters...

Sometimes the storm comes when I'm at work. Story after story of homes that won't heal and hearts that won't melt. Always more hunger than food. More needs than money. More questions than answers. On Sundays I stand before a church with a three-point outline in my hand, thirty minutes on the clock, and a prayer on my lips. I do my best to say something that will convince a stranger that an unseen God still hears.

And I sometimes wonder why so many hearts have to hurt.

Do you ever get doubtstorms? Some of you don't, I know. I've talked to you. Some of you have a "Davidish" optimism that defies any Goliath. I used to think that you were naive at the best and phony at the worst.

I don't think that anymore.

I think you are gifted. You are gifted with faith. You can see the rainbow before the clouds part. But others of you wonder...

You wonder what others know that you don't. You wonder if you are blond or if they are. You wonder why some proclaim "Eureka" before the gold is found. You wonder why some shout "Land ho" before the fog has cleared. You wonder how some people believe so confidently while you believe so reluctantly.

As a result, you are a bit uncomfortable on the padded pew of blind belief. Your Bible her is Thomas. Your middle name is Caution. Your queries are the bane of every Sunday school teacher.

"If God is so good, why do I sometimes feel so bad?"

"If his message is so clear, why do I get so confused?"

"If the Father is in control, why do good people have gut-wrenching problems?"

You wonder if it is a blessing or a curse to have a mind that never rests...

Tough questions. Throw-in-the-towel questions. Question the disciples must have asked....

Where is God when his world is stormy?

Doubtstorms: turbulent days when the enemy is too big, the task too great, the future to bleak, and the answers too few...

"When God comes," we doubters think, "all pain will flee. Life will be tranquil. No questions will remain."

And because we look for the bonfire, we miss the candle. Because we listen for the shout, we miss the whisper.

But it is in burnished candles that God comes, and through whispered promises he speaks: "when you doubt, look around; I am closer than you think."

(From In the Eye of the Storm by Max Lucado)

I was reading my bible and this was in the Life Lesson on the side. It really spoke to me because sometimes I feel as though when: the answers are too few, the days bleak, and the storm too big I need to look harder for God to speak in huge ways too me. Sometimes I miss out on the candle because I'm looking too hard for a great big flame. Remember that you are never too small to make a difference and that life is never too hard. When you feel as though your world is crumbling down and that it is impossible to see God remember that he sees you. That he cries when you feel sadness and laughs at your jokes. He loves you a whole lot. Don't ever forget that you are never alone, even in times like these.