Chipped Red Nails.

As I stare at my nails i realize that the polish that my mom carefully applied to them a couple days ago is beginning to fade. Around the edges my nail polish is starting to peel and the once, incredibly shiny, fire engine red is turning to a dull, chipped red nail. I know that the nails aren't going to get any better until i repaint them and that I should probably take as best care of them as I can until I have time to fix them but for some reason I just can't help picking at the pieces of polish to reveal more and more of my nail.

Today was a long day. I will confess it started out pretty hectic. I went to band practice and messed up every piece that my trumpet played (yes, my trumpet played, i did not...my instrument plays me) and then continued to go on to English class where I had to explain to my English teacher that no, i could not do my debate today and yes, i am perfectly ready but the rest of my group is not. After she let out some steam I went to sit down and pulled out some knitting and she asked me calmly, "So, when do we get to see the baby?".....
The baby?
What baby?
"Mrs. Dalton, I am beginning my Christmas presents early this year so I don't end up rushing."
"Well, I see Tessa. Could you PLEASE put it away right now...Thank-you"

Science class is a class that I don't normally look forward to but I thought...heck, This day is here for God's glory...not my happiness. I prayed then, "Lord, please oh please help me to find something joyful to smile about today."
In my science class there is a girl and she is a very emotional, sometimes suicidal young lady. I asked her if she would if I sat by her and I, as well as my friend Erik, continued to chat with her for the class about how her week was....She was laughing almost to the point of crying and it brightened up my day exponentially to hear that. Before I left that class, I had purchased a bracelet that read, "Believe in yourself, you are loved."
This girl, whom I am referring to is slightly overweight, was abused when she was younger and has a lot of self confident issues. I wanted her to know that I loved her and that God loved her and that she was never alone...that there was a amazing reason for her to live...so I bought her a bracelet that (hopefully) relayed the message that I loved her even when she felt like the day couldn't go on.

Her face lite up as soon as I told her and she began talking in an excited loud, very fast, voice about how she had to repay me and how she didn't know what to give me...I just shook my head and laughed at her...There is so much joy in seeing others happy.

The rest of the day I worked. I should be doing my homework right now but I thought it was more important to get this thought down. (sorry, i seem to have rambled)

My point in all of this is this...Today I woke up, praying that God would show me a way to be a light. As I sang a piece for choir that goes, "In the darkness of the night we are called to be the light, so let the flame become a torch in you" I realized that I could be that light in today. I'm not going to say its easy but as I'm picking at my chipped red nails I realize that much like my life, are my nails.

They began shiny, bright and brill ant and soon faded and worn, still serve their purpose to add flair but now have some character after all of the time that they've worn. My life, there has been ups and downs, great falls when I've barely been able to get up and times where I don't want to take another breathe or wake up to another useless morning but this morning I prayed that God would give me joy to bring to others.

I believe that if we pray, every morning for that joy...it is impossible for our light to be blown out. It is simply impossible for people to not see the joy and thanksgiving in our lives. When I get around to it I'll repaint my nails and they will become new once again, much like my life...When I get the energy, each morning to breathe one more breathe and say one more prayer my nails are bright once again...even if by the end of the day they're dull, at least I KNOW that they made a difference in the day and brought that bit of flair.