Somewhere between this morning and tonight,

I came to the conclusion that you are definitely just as good of a friend, as you are a boyfriend.

And that I've lost what I'm looking for.
I was waiting for an answer, something to give me the go on being with you for this time...
And I'm not sure if this calm reassuring peace means anything,
But it's been a constant stance in my heart that's beating.
I don't know if you can see me,
But I'm breaking in an unexpected way.
All of the things that have torn me down, are being discarded.
You're showing me how to be a servant,
How to show the Lords love...his grace.

"Lay awake at night. Cry, you know it's not alright to feel like your falling into nothing, you can learn to fly, just call his name."

And I think I'm just growing a mess of nothingness.
It's so rediculous.
It's almost as though I know I don't need you,
But I would rather not leave without you.

More than that though, I want to know you. I want to know what makes you angry, I want to know what makes you sad, I want to know how you drive, and what your hair looks like when you wake up in the morning.
It's so dumb because I would like to know how you show so much love for the Lord, and how I can do it.

You say that you'll wait until you're 40, that you are at peace with waiting for me to look to God and find an answer.

My wonderful question is, what if I never do?