Correction

Why do I do this to me?
Why do I make it so easy for someone to talk
and walk all over my heart.
I open myself up to all of these fears,
years that I hid are beginning to fade.
I don't understand me.

And then I go and blame you.
The blame is half mine.
Would you please just give me a sign that shows you forgive me?
I know you don't care for me the way I care for you,
but can you forgive me for not watching what I do.
I was stupid and I was blind,
Please forgive me for trying to get the love I couldn't find.

I'm sorry about the things I've said,
The lies I keep from you.
I'm so covered up in these masks I've made,
That I've run from every truth.

It started feeling clearer,
like everything had changed.
But my fears came back, drown me out again,
And I'm stealing away your ability to hear the truth.
I've stolen your ability to have a normal friendship.

Why do I do this to me?
Why do I fall so hard for the people who will leave?
I can't possibly percieve how it feels,
to have your heart really broken in two,
cause this feeling I'm feeling is normal.
This feeling is anything but new.
I'm used to the lies and the fear in my face,
but I'm not used to hurting you in this place.

I didn't mean to hurt her,
And you didn't mean, to seem, to cheat.
I know that you do love her,
More than you ever loved me.
Please ask for her forgiveness,
on my behalf.
I'm feeling so much guilt inside
and I know it's no excuse
But normally I don't let people in enough,
to hurt me with their youth.
Please tell her that I'm sorry,
I never meant to interfere.
Please know that she is very blessed,
To have you be so near.

I'm tempted just to step away,
I'm causing so much fear.
It would be easier for her to see,
how much you care, without me here.
My correction is to blame myself,
for letting too much in,
To ever let my heart back out,
of the mess it finds within.