Ame...

If ever there is a tomorrow when we are not together...there is something you should always remember. You are BRAVER than you believe, STRONGER than you seem, & STRONGER than you think. But the most important thing is, even if we're apart, I will always be in your HEART.
-Winnie

I just came to my new house. All I can think about is...
-how you would love the overhang in my room
-how we would have WAY too much fun playing in the forest
-how everyone from Nathan's collage would think we were the craziest people ever
-how we would laugh for about 2 hours about the name of where i live: "junglepot"
-that every thrift store i see, i think of how amazing it would be to go there with no one else but you
...and I'm sitting here writing this, honestly not, knowing what to say.

The house I will be living in is beautiful. The land is gorgeous and the horses that'll be here will be amazing. My bedroom is fun and I can be creative with it. It's big, new, and intriguing but more than that, it is the scariest thing that I have seen in so long.

I want a hand to hold when I come here. Rachel talks about her wanting Andrew here and I just want my best friend Ame. How does that work? I want to pray with her and read my bible with her. I want to talk about God, and boys, and just hang out. Why haven't we done that in so long?

I realized that no one else would understand my disgust at using a beer labeled napkin as toilet paper. I realized that no matter who, sleeping in a bed with someone will never be as comfortable as it is with you. I'm staring at your facebook profile and I just miss you. I was the first one to fall up the stairs in my new house and only you would have thought it was funny. I ran into the granite counter and got a bruise and I know you would have laughed so much.

All I can think about is everything we've done and everything I don't want to loose with us. I miss you so much and I can't do anything about it.

But..I guess the good thing is, is that it isn't done yet. I still have 2 months at home and we're going to make those 2 months better than you could ever imagine. Then we have the summer, and during the summer we'll get our calling and talking scheduled so when we get busy during school, we'll still talk. We still have time to eat icecream, applesause, and cauliflower. We still have time to cry with Matt during movies. We still have time. We're best friends. I'm not going anywhere.

I love you a whole heck of a lot and I'm not just :) for no reason. (You better know what I mean).
I miss you, and I can't honestly say that there's someone else I'd rather be here with. I'm sorry that you can't be here.