You.

I never believed that I would be able to experience life like a normal teen. I always thought that I had to take care of people and be the one that would catch them when they feel. Refusing to allow myself to live the way that God had ordained because I was afraid, because I was stubborn, and because I never thought it was possible for me to make it through. And then I met you.

You make me want to be someone who loves, lives, and never gives up. Everything about you encourages me, loves me, and tells me that it is okay that I'm not perfect. I am aloud to make mistakes and aloud to go back on my stubborn dumb ways. The things that make me afraid and make me feel as though I don't deserve what God has coming are things that you make me feel like somehow are right for me.

Whenever I'm with you you treat me as though I am everything to you. I feel like I'm amazing, like I can do anything I put my mind to and that I am special and wonderfully made. How do you do that? When I'm with you make every second count.

I love you my friends

I want...

I want to be someone people can trust.
I want talking to me to be a must.
I want to be God's shining light,
In the darkness of those scary nights.
I want to be the one people confide in,
When everything seems just too thick or thin.
I want to be a hand to hold,
Never thinking our friendships too old.
I want to be looked at with surprise,
With joy and peace in peoples eyes.
I want to be able to make everything right,
To see past the mist and the blindness of sight.
I want to be able to do as I please,
But never anything God doesn't see.
I don't want to care what people think,
But I want to stop them from drowning as they sink.
I want to rely on God through it all,
Hopein' and knowin' I'll be caught when I fall.
But mostly I want to just to just be myself,
I don't want to be caught up with everything else.
The world and its pressures and all of its faults.
My sin and my sickness, the worlds music, its waltz.
I want to be only who God wants me to be,
I just want to see the world the way that he sees.
I want nothing but his will in this world full of pain.
I realize now that there's nothing else left to gain.

Are you ready?

Are you ready for God to turn your life upside down?
No...
Neither was I.
But strangely, now the world finally makes sense.
I was meant to trust, meant to live for something more, meant to love and loose, and meant to forever remember and never forget.
I was meant to live this life not matter how painful or uncomfortable it may be.
Are you ready for God to turn your life upside down?
No...
Neither was I.
But now it's right side up...
FINALLY.

Tonight

It's time to be strong tonight,
When the stars will shine and the moon is bright.
Its time for me to face my fears,
wipe away these tears
and counter these mirrors.
Even when I can't see the love,
When I feel as though my word is shaken,
And when all of my strength has been taken
I must take a breathe.

Its time to be strong tonight,
For the look on clear faces is a strange sight.
I feel as though I'll be lost forever,
But that I must be strong and always clever,
Never showing the fear I feel,
The countless pain I continue to reveal.
I'm sick of complaining
Cause I feel like I'm always shaming,
My Lord and Savior,
My Redeemer.

I'm afraid of re-telling my long story,
Afraid of showing all of the bloody gorey,
I feel like I'll get lost on the way,
Like I won't be able to say,
That I stayed strong through the storm,
That I fought past societies norm.
I don't want to seem like another kid,
Spoiled and rotten and in for the ride,
Its not a random playground slide.
Its time to be strong tonight,
I need to keep up these countless fights.

I know I may seem like I'm being rude,
That I don't care or I'm being crude.
I want you to know that I'm breaking inside,
That these tears they keep running, tears I've cried.
I want you to know that I'll miss you so much,
That I'll wish for this hug, this kiss, this touch.
I'll feel so alone it'll be hard to bear,
Even when I know you'll always care.
But its time to get on the flight,
Time to be strong tonight.

The News

I sit here and think,
Not sleeping a wink.
Its incredible how much time has past,
I'm not sure how much longer I'll last.
I feel like the end of this is coming so soon,
I just know that everything will be in ruins.
But God works everything together,
for the good of those who love him.
I know right now friends are who i treasure,
The ones I'd give for them any limb
But hopelessness is catching up,
I'm getting tired of faking whats up.