5 seconds away from drowning.

Note to you.

Note to You: It's hard here. I'm getting sick of being treated like it isn't. I've almost never felt more alone in my life. Try it sometime. And I'm sorry, for your loss...but don't pretend mine isn't any less real.

Happy Birthday Jesus. Thank you.

Lord, there can be no goodness in us, if you withdraw yourself.
No wisdom can benefit us, if you cease to guide us.
No strength can preserve us, if you no longer defend.
No purity can be secure, if you do not guard it.
No watchfulness of our own can protect us, if you do not keep watch.

If you abandon us, we are soon lost and perish. But if you come to us,
with your grace, we are lifted up to live again.

We are weak, but you make us strong.
We are cold and dull, but by you we are set ablaze.

-Thomas a Kempis

I hate how it has to be this way.
I've lived my whole life working to separate myself from you,
from people like you who could get under my skin.
Now that I've met you I'm convinced I could never get hurt,
Only because I refuse to open up myself to something to cynical as "love".
Not to say that I love you, or that you love me...but I know that in the future
this could be a possibility.

I don't want to run from you.
I want want to tell you that I so often run, why would I want to worry you.
But sometimes silence is so much worse as an unspoken.
Sometimes my silence means a patter of footsteps down a cement sidewalk,
One that is never ending.

I feel like somethings wrong with me.
I know it isn't anything to do with you.
You're probably the best thing that's happened to me... in a long time.
But if so, why am I getting this unexplainable urge to take the 1000 meter dash away from here,
and away from you.